Brought to you by yours truly.
I read an article on The New York Times that was titled “Some Babies Are Just Easier Than Others”… my first thought?
“Yeah! no shit!” (excuse my language)
I have 2 of the “not so easy babies”. Life is hectic. Life is busy. We have good days, and we have bad days. Tears are a daily occurrence, and sometimes the tears are from momma. As crazy as my life can get, I keep going, pushing forward and keeping my promise to not loose it on them. I pray for endless patience every night, because that’s what I need the most when I have to give myself a time out and count to 10 –breath– (Well, I think I count to 10,000).
Days are filled with ups and downs. Yesterday was a prime example. I hired a nanny to take the kids for a couple of hours so I could get some editing done. NJ wasn’t having it. He was testing me and testing his boundaries. After a time out and more tears, he lost his privilege to go to the park. When the nanny left without him, he completely lost it. LOST IT. “I don’t like”s, “You are so mean”s, “Go away”s, “Leave me alone”s were handed out like hot tamales. Kicking, screaming, you name it. I just let him deal with his emotions and the whole ordeal lasted 30-40 minutes. I had to put my editing on hold and tend to his needs, after all, that’s my #1 priority. After the storm settled, we hugged and kissed. It’s very important for me to let him know that I still like him even if he kicks me when he is mad, that I love him even if he doesn’t want me around when he is frustrated, and that I need to set rules and boundaries to make his life easier (and mine too). He was so tired after the whole ordeal, that he fell asleep while we waited for Mia to come back from the park. He never falls asleep like this anymore, but I am sure all those emotions take a toll on him. At the end of the day, before he went to bed, my little buddy came over and without being asked, he gave me a huge hug and said “I love you mommy” with a huge smile on his face. I so needed to hear this.
Mia… I don’t even know how to begin. She thinks she rules the world and should be allowed to do whatever she wants, when she wants to do it and exactly how she wants to do it. No questions asked- or else she will cry and try to hit anybody who is nearby. The good thing is that the majority of the time her bursts of emotions last for about 90 seconds. But then there’s times like today, where she screamed so so so loud that Security came over and asked if everything was ok. Ha… “yeah, just peachy Sir, just peachy”. At this point, I am so immune to people staring at us while scream parties happen, that I usually ignore it. I know, I know, she has some lungs! and a stubborn personality – just go on, no need to stare unless you want to help.
But you know what? I would not change any of this for anything in the world. I love my kids. I love them more than anything in this life. I wanted them since forever ago, and God gave them to me. I see them and I fall in love with them over and over again, with tantrums, tears and all.
A lot of what you see on my Facebook is happy memories, so I wanted to get real with you. I am not writing this post for anybody to feel sorry for me, or give me some advice, words of encouragement or validation that I am doing a good job. I know I am, and I know you are, because I know we all love our kids, and we do the best we can. I wanted to write this very long post because maybe, somebody needs to read it and know that you are not alone, that yeah, not all babies (and kids) are easy like your neighbor’s babies. I want you to know that every storm will pass, and after the storm, something beautiful can come out of it.. just look at the photos of my beautiful boy sleeping after the his tantrum…
God bless you all. Enjoy the smiles and fun times, and for the rest, drink some wine or eat chocolate with me.